One Mouse, Two Mice, Three Mice, Four
09/24/2019
How are you with math? Today, we're going to do a little mouse math. How does that sound? Great! Let's get to it....
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Do you recognize your life in the following story? None of us have had all of these problems, but I'm sure you've had some. See if you can find them.
I heard a buzzing and thumping last night and immediately knew what it was. I flipped the covers off and flicked the light switch on. Sure enough, to my disgust, I was right. Above my bed, bashing its head into the silent ceiling fan, was a stink bug. Probably looking for a perch. I walked groggily from my bedroom, through the kitchen, to get a cup. That is my tactic. I trap those stink bugs under glass, slide a piece of paper under, and chuck them back outside.
As I rummaged through the cabinets with sleepy eyes, I drew in a deep sigh, but air wasn't the only thing I sucked in. I could feel a tiny familiar intruder in my throat. I scanned the room, swallowing repeatedly. In the air floated what had to be a dozen fruit flies. I let out a long growl and swung my hand through the air. This only parted the tiny cloud of irritating intruders, causing them to swirl around my face, unharmed. I mumbled, "Stupid fruit flies," and stomped through the cloud.
Skitter skitter skitter.
I came to an abrupt stop in the living room and peered through the partial darkness at what was probably the largest cockroach I'd ever seen stuck firmly to the wall. Seriously! Was I not plagued enough? I took another step and watched it race across the wall and disappear behind a bookshelf. Well, that was it. There would be no sleeping for me--not with knowing that thing was in the house.
I walked wearily into the bedroom. During my distraction the stink bug must have found a place to land, because he was nowhere to be found. I set the cup gently on the dresser, even though I wanted to throw it across the room, and decided to visit the bathroom before making an attempt at going to sleep.
When the lights came on I looked at myself in the mirror. Immediately, my eyes were drawn to a few red marks on my neck. I pulled the neck of my shirt away. There were more. They went down over my shoulder and onto my back. Bed bugs? Really? Now I couldn't even return to the relative safety of my bed.
That's when the cricket started chirping in the wall …
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